Benny Bigggs: Asian Invasion ‘06

Dear Benny,
I missed you soooo much, I had to get the symbol of the Asian Invasion permanently tattooed on me! Sorry Mom! Don’t go invading too many more continents or mom is going to be really pissed at you!!!
-Johnny D.

I finally got to an internet cafe in rome. I would have blogged at the hostel but in addition to having a dirty shower that floods, they only had one computer so I couldn’t get on very much. It was however a party hostel which is all that really counts, and Regina and I have been drunk every night in Rome so far (mostly off the cheap wine).

I don’t think I wrote much on Greece so I’ll give you some of the highlights in case you ever want to go there. Athens has some of the coolest ancient ruins I’ve seen and it’s worth a day and a half of your time to see everything, after that it’s pretty boring. If you have anymore time go to the greek islands. I’ve heard there are quiet islands if you’re looking to relax and there are definitely party islands (this is where the bwbg needs to spend spring break). The ferry ride kinda sucks but as long as you don’t mind a 9 hour ride where you sleep on the floor (most people sleep on the outside deck) you’ve found a cheap way to the islands. Thanks to double-H’s tip we stayed on Ios and it was pretty crazy there. The typical Ios day consists of getting up around 11, (because you’re so tired from the partying the night before) going to the beaches till sundown (they actually were prettier than the Thailand beaches), going out to eat awesome greek food, crashing at your tiny hotel room till about midnight and then drinking till 6am. After a long asian invasion we needed the beach, the beer and it was also a nice change to brush your teeth without use of a water bottle.

Despite getting to the airport 35 minutes before our flight we managed to make it to Rome and in case you didn’t know Italians are crazy. They cheer when the plane lands, they wear Saved By the Bell t-shirts that say Zack loves Kelly on the back and they are still celebrating the world cup (yea gold flavored Gatorade). We’ve pretty much spent our days checking out all the sites (except poor Regina missed the Sisten Chapel..how is a chapel closed on sundays??) and our nights drinking wine and checking out the crazy things people are doing on the streets.

And yes it’s said but true, the lovely Regina did leave Rome today, but I still have some cards left so the invasion is going as strong as ever even if it’s down to one person. Now that I’m by myself more tourists than ever come up to me asking for directions and since I’m bored I started a new game where try to give them directions in Italian giberish. I don’t think they like the game as much as I do.

Well back to the invasion, there is good italian wine and a pub crawl that have Benny Biggg’s name written all over it…

BB

p.s. Did the lovely Johnny Dynamite really get ink on his arm???

Just wanted to let everyone know we’ve landed in Rome. I know some people have worried with everything going on but we did make our plane (with a lot of running) and we have landed in Rome. Iàm pretty drunk  right now so iàll blog later about Greece and all but cheers to us landing woo woooo

BB

There hasn’t been a whole lot of time to blog but we’ve arrived in Greece safely and now Regina and I are headed to the Greek Island Ios which is suppose to be the European version of Cancun. So I guess I should start with the half moon party…a crazy time. Everyone at our bungalow went including the staff who gave us a ride. The ride up was crazy, the guy who ran the place plus the staff made some buckets of who knows what and we were all drinking them. We also cheered on the driver to have some and he caved under the pressure. When we were flying to Ko Pha Ngan we got a brochure with a lot of info about Ko Pha Ngan and one of the things it said was please try not to drink and drive. Apparently our driver never got the memo. Once we got to the party there was a lot more drinking of buckets, house dancing, drugs (apparently benny bigggs IS shady because while I was offered them twice no one else was offered drugs) and welcome back 1997 because there were glow sticks a-plenty. The rave was definitely a good time and I don’t remember what time we eventually got home but I do remember someone puking outside the parking lot and forcing us to hitch a ride on the back of a truck because a van would make that person puke some more.

We were suppose to get up early the next day and make the 11 o’clock ferry to Koh Samui and to our credit we were ready to go by 10:30 but the staff was too hung over and hadn’t reported to work yet so we couldn’t check out. We ended up catching the 4pm ferry and eventually got to another bungalow. We did some more cheap shopping in Koh Samui that night and the next day we went elephant trekking. Elephant trekking is awesome. At first we rode the elephant (shout out to my girl Elle) on a mini couch thing but then the guy asked me to sit on the Elle’s neck and ride her that way. Sorry Johnny, I might have to trade in my bigwheel if someone ever starts a elephant riding gang. I was also pretty proud of Regina who rode on Elle even though she was bit nervous at first. If only she showed that kind of bravery while riding on the back of the motorbike with me. Riding a motorbike is the best way to get around on the islands and there aren’t very many traffic laws so it’s kinda a free-for-all. I also have to admit at first I wasn’t so great on the motorbike but once I figured out how to turn I was much better. My only advice is don’t try to learn how to ride a motorbike with a nervous backseat driver and in case you’re wondering while I’m slow as hell on the bigwheel, I’m a speed demon on the motorbike.

Anyways we were very sad to say goodbye to the Thailand Islands but at least we were headed for the Greek Islands and not Delaware (yea Widner). Our plane ride kinda sucked; after our crazy day we had to be at the airport by midnight for a 10 hour flight to Athens. Once we got to Athens at 7am Greek time we were going to figure out how to bus to the Pirease port and then get on the 7 hour ferry ride to Ios. Unfortunately the ferry was completely sold out when we got there and the next ferry we could get on wasn’t till 10:30pm the next day. Regina was not very happy with me that day. Luckily we were able to get a hostel in Athens that night (not an easy thing on a sat night) and talked the Ios hotel guy into letting us change the dates we were staying at the island even though it said the hotel was booked online. AND it turns out lots of backpackers make the ferry mistake because the girls we dormed with last night did the same thing (plus 2 other groups of people at the ferry ticket agency) so while Benny felt like a big idiot for not getting tickets in advance, at least he wasn’t alone. The only potential problem now is that the only ferry we could get coming back docks at 5pm and we have to make a 7:20pm flight to Rome that day, so hopefully we won’t get stuck in Greece (sorry mom I might not be coming home).

Well that’s all for now, I’ll write all about Athens and the islands the next chance I get. We’re now 3/4’s of the way around the world and while the Asian Invasion was a complete success, there is a lot of work left to be done on the Eurasian Invasion….

B

So once again it’s raining and the bar is playing Brokeback Mountain so it seemed like a good time to blog. Assuming the rain goes away, Regina and I are going motorbiking and then off to the half moon party. Twice a month on the Thailand islands they have this crazy half moon party (which is only upstaged by the full moon party which we will unfortunately miss) which is basically a giant rave.

Bangkok is a crazy city. The shoes and clothes are even cheaper here than they were in China. Things are generally very cheap here but that doesn’t stop the locals from trying to overcharge us every chance they get. It’s pretty hard to tell the difference between people trying to help you and people trying to scam you. On one hand we had cab drivers trying to charge us 250 bot for a cab ride home (probably a week’s worth salary for most people here) and on the other hand we found some guy that drove us all around town for 4 hours for 10 bot (about 25 cents). When I gave him a card I think he wanted a job with the bikergang because he asked me if I would take him back to the US with me. Any spots open for my boy Sum-Kit, Johnny??

Then there is the sex disctrict….Women literally walk around with numbers around their neck and you can order anyone you want. It was tough holding back the lovely Regina from ordering one but I did my best to preserve her modesty, however there was no stopping her from dragging us to a pingpong sex show. We met some guy on the street who promised us a good show for 200 bot so he led us down a few shady alleys and into this even shadier building. As soon as we sat down about 10 women came over and started massaging Regina and I (don’t worry I made sure they didn’t pick-pocket us). As soon as that was done some crazy old lady came over asking us for 600 bot for the 2 beers and massage we had “just bought”. Surprisingly enough the guy we met on the street lied to us about the price, so we paid for our beer and massage and watched some of the show and headed out. If you ever get a chance to go to a pingpong show don’t go on a full stomach because you might just lose your lunch. This is a family site so I won’t get into details but lets just say I’ll never look at a birthday cake the same way again.

I won’t even get into all the people that tried to scam us when we got to the island (lucky benny bigggs is an expert at scams) but once we got to our bungalow everyone has treated Benny Bigggs like the celebrity he is. The staff likes to drink with us and they are going to the half moon party with us and they’re even doing our laundry for us.

Well I think the rain is finally letting up…tomorrow we’re off to another island and if the weather is ok we’re going elephant treking…And don’t worry the Asian Invasion cards are going faster than Johnny on his bigwheel.

BB

I’ve got a whole lot to write about Bangkok but that’ll have to wait for another time. I just wanted to check in say we landed on the beaches in Thailand. The airport was basically a hut that looked like it was right out of Weekend At Bernies. The rain has continued to follow us wherever we go and we lose power when it rains really hard. We’ve had about 4 good beach hours and the beaches are amazing.

Tomorrow Benny Bigggs will see if his bigwheel skills translate to a motor bike (hopefully not if you’ve seen the videos) and of course the half moon party is going to be craaaazy.

Oh and Jaime, I’d bring you back shoes but my backpack is pretty full….

Maybe someday I’ll get my own blog, but until then you’ll have to deal with me invading Benny’s.  Just wanted to let everyone know, a second set of Japan photos have been added and a new set of Korea photos.  Just click over on the right to check them out.  Hope everyone is enjoying the invasion!!! Thanks to Regina for providing the pics.

-Johnny D.

Johnny gets what Johnny wants…

The invasion continues to exceed expectations, we’ve gotten first class treatment since we’ve landed in China. Someone picked us up from the airport and although they had a sign with Regina’s name on it, I’m pretty sure it had something to do with traveling with a member of the bigwheel bikergang. Our hostel obviously know they have a celebrity in house because they set us up with tickets to any event we want and provide a free ride to and from wherever we are going (shout out to my girl Apple). They also give us a free breakfast in the morning and help us in anyway you can imagine all for a grand total of 10 bucks a night. Money goes very far in Beijing and since my TDY was cancelled I’m thinking about moving here. The only drawback to our hostel (and all of Beijing for that matter) is that the bathrooms suck. You aren’t allowed to throw toilet paper in the toilet (what was I thinking) because it will clog up the pipes. In fact virtually no bathroom in Beijing comes with toilet paper so Brownie would be screwed if he came here. You also have to use water from a water bottle to brush your teeth and the shower is not separated from the rest of the bathroom so you shower between the sink and the toilet.

Right now Beijing is under MAJOR construction for the 2008 Olympics so it seems like every road and monument is under construction or renovation. Our hostel is located up a very shady alley that is all dirt road. Every morning there are like 50 people working on digging it up and I suppose eventually they will actually put a road there.

The lovely Regina and I have done a lot here so far, we’ve visited the temple of heaven, the lama temple, Confusus’ temple, the forbidden city and tiananmen square. The forbidden city was by far the coolest thing we’ve seen so far and I’ll post pictures soon. When we got to the hostel there were notices that con artists lurk out at places like tiananmen square and try to strike up conversations in english so you’ll befriend them so they can later suggest you go out for drinks and stiff you with the tab. This is pretty much true. Everywhere we went random people came up to us trying to talk to us about how they went to school in China or some other over-friendly story. I would hand them my bikergang card and walkaway, so if you guys are reading this now..nice try. I also handed out my card to alot of  those annoying people who try to hand you flyers when you’re walking around…they didn’t know what to do.

As you may have figured out by now we stick out quite a bit over here. There are tons of people who come up to us and ask if they can take pictures with us. No word on whether that’s because I’m a member of the bikergang or because Regina and I maybe the first white people they’ve ever seen…you be the judge.

Well that’s all for now…we got the Great Wall coming up in the next couple days, if I had my bigwheel I’d could find out exactly how many Great Wall steps a bigwheel could go down before it got detroyed.

BB

Well we’ve landed safely in China and it looks like I can access this blog even from China. There’s a lot to say about China but I want to fill yous in on our days in S Korea. There’s no better place for the invasion to go then a US military base and we were greeted like heros there by Liza and one Daniel Elden White (better known as Dewey). They took us around the base, they gave us a place to shower, they did our laundry and most importantly they introduced us to Soju a potent Korean drink.

We spent our first day in Korea hanging out at the Oson base and the town around the base. I have never seen so many bars in my entire life. We got into town the day before 15 straight days of hardcore training began so pretty much the entire base was on a mission to get shit faced that day and Benny Bigggs was going to help the troops any way he could.

The town surrounding the base was absolutely insane. Charles will be sad to know there was only one sighting of an asian prostitute (a pleasant creature named “the road warrior” who would grab you when you walked by and say, “wanna go??”) because the military cracks down on prostitution there. However there are the Juicy girls. Juicy girls are Phillapeano girls that sign 1 year contracts to “mama pimps” to work in their clubs. They work 7 days a week have strict curfews and only get one night a week off (and I thought Lockheed was bad). You can only buy conversation from a Juicy girl and it costs you 10 bucks which goes to a drink for the girl and she only stays as long as it takes for her to finish the drink. Some guys can buy a girl for the whole night but the girl is then free to go home or hang out with the guy if she wants (sucks for that loser).

Dewey thought it’d be a great way to support the invasion by buying me 1 drink worth of a Juicy girl. She tried to show me how to line dance to hip hop music and told me all about how one day she wanted to be an x-ray technition. Benny Bigggs was of course a perfect gentleman to her which maybe why she didn’t leave even a half hour after I told her I wasn’t going to by her another drink. She finally left when Dewey got her attention and told her it was time to go. Next came lots of beer, ammo shots, soju and about 8 kettle shots (whatever those are) and this boy from south phillywas learning how to 2 step. I don’t remember if I was any good but I don’t remember falling. All in all Benny Bigggs tried to show the men in uniform a good time.

For those still interested is the cultural piece of the invasion I should let you know that the Korean people in general are pretty rude and Seoul is not the friendliest place we’ve been. The older Koreans will push you out of the way if you are in front of the in the street or even if you are in the middle of paying in line. The younger Koreans are much friendlier and a little more westernized but they still respect the older Koreans and put up with their ways. As far as Seoul goes, it had it’s moments but I didn’t see a lot to that really separated it from any other big city I’ve seen with the exception of one bar district that beat anything I’ve seen in the US. My pictures should be posted soon.

Well thats all for now…we are back in a hostel that has easy internet access so hopefully I’ll be on soon to talk about China. I think China has officially sent Regina and I into culture shock so don’t forget to leave some love…

B

Even the best invasions don’t always go smoothly and regina and I finally had that day where everything goes wrong. We were suppose to climb fuji on thursday night and the information online said the 3 busses left at 7:50, 8:50 and 9:50. So we went supply shopping for some gear so we wouldn’t die on the mountain and went to the station for the 7:50 bus. Since no one speaks english it took us till about 8:30 till we found the right station and everything where they promptly let us know that the info online was wrong because the last bus to fuji left at 8:10. I think Regina was secretly glad we missed it because it later started downpouring.

Afterwards we tried to find solace in the only thing that could make the day any better…beer. We went back to our new hostel (which kicked ass) and drank with the people staying there. About 2am one of the English guys there tells us about a karaoke bar he knows about and how he knows the bartender there and he’ll hook us up with free karaoke if we buy drinks. So we went there and we had some strong as sake (is that how you spell it ryna??) and did some karaoke that would have made even Chippy Chippy Yum Yum proud. If you’ve never heard her I would recommend catching Regina in concert just make sure you bring ear plugs So after a few pavarotti-esque songs regina sat down at the bar and all of the sudden couldn’t stop hiccuping. She tried to get the bartenders attention but he was playing on the internet so she asked me to get the pourer from behind the bar so she could have water. So as I’m grabbing it the English guy all of the sudden starts going nuts and saying we were trying to steal alcohol and this is how we repay him back and blah blah blah. Maybe this guy never heard of the bikergang?? The bartender obvious didn’t care and we smoothed things over with him but the English prick couldn’t get it straight that we weren’t stealing so we bounced.

After we found our way back to the hostel in the pouring rain we noticed the hostel door was locked. The guy at the front desk gave me the pin number to get back in when we checked in but I left it in the room. Luckily there was an overhead and a couch under it so we could passed out on that. You might be surprised to learn this was not the first time Benny Bigggs “slept” outside.

We finished up Japan by shopping in Shibuya and checking out the Love Hotels where you can buy used underwear in the vending machine (I’ll bring some back for Charles).

Well thats all for now I’ll be back on when I can to report about our time in Korea and Benny Bigggs first experience with the juicy girls…

B

 

While we were drinking with this Aussie chap at the hostel last night, he told us about a game he played with his friends where they would give him 2 missions in every country he visited, an easy one and a hard one. So if you post comments about what missions you’d like to see us do while we are traveling around, Johnny will read them all and post the 2 he would like us to accomplish. We leave for Korea tomorrow so depending on the feedback we may not start the missions until we get into China on the 25th

B

Hey… It’s Johnny, the fearless leader of the Big Wheel Biker Gang. Sorry if I got you all excited thinking you were getting a new post from Benny. I just wanted to say thanks to Benny Bigggs for doing such a great job invading Asia, even if his spelling isn’t that great , and to let you know…. It’s now even easier for friends, family and fans of Benny Bigggs to keep track of his adventures. Instead of typing out the whole web address, you can now just type in www.bigggs.com, not that you already haven’t bookmarked the blog! Hope this helps out everyone and don’t forget to check out the rest of the gang in the “BWBG and Friends” links section on the left side of the page.
We now return you to your invasion already in progress…

(Beware a toilet story is ahead and may not be suitable for small children…)

Technology and Tokyo have always seemed to go hand and hand as Reginia and I discovered today. We visited the Electronic District today which is a market that hosts a least 100 different vendors with everything from computer parts, dubbed 80’s (I swear there was an Emilio section) to next years cell phones.

But did you know that the Japanese are also on the forefront of toilet technology as well?? The tea ceremony we went to today (probably the coolest thing we’ve done so far) was housed in a very expensive hotel. After using the facilities Reginia told me the toilets in the bathroom had a control panel on it with tons of buttons and 1 of them warmed the seats. Sounding to good to be true I decided to check it out. It turns these controls only work if you actually sit down on the toilet and being the adventurous traveler I am, I obliged. After playing with the console for a bit I decide to press the button labeled “spray” and the next thing I know there was a humming sound and some vibrating thing was going near my bum which prompted me to jump off my seat and into the stall door. The next thing I know I am getting hosed down by an electronic biday. Lesson learned….

It FINALLY stopped raining today and Reginia said if it doesn’t rain tomorrow she’s going to climb fuji so keep your fingers crossed (for whichever way you voted)

And finally…We’ve been posting a lot lately but we are leaving this hostel tomorrow so I don’t know how much internet access we’ll have to post in the next 5 days (2 left in tokyo and 3 in a hotel in Korea). I’ll try to post one more time before we leave, especially if we climb fuji. Well we’re off to the bars….
B

Here are some pics for now…many more to come…. 

Ronald lends a helping hand to the invasion

The moat around the Imperial Palace

Every good invasion needs a Colonel!!

One of the beautiful gardens in Tokyo

Tokyo’s Imperial Palace

Ancient Japanese customs make hostels smell like feet

B&E is breaking and entering for all you civilians out there and it:s a good thing benny bigggs has a long history of it. While I was drunk blogging last nite the lovely reginia decided to lock us out of our dorm room (I suppose bubba can put a poll up to decide who was more drunk last nite). Luckily I took a B&E class at south philly high and was able to use a credit card to break us back in since our only other option was sleep on the feet smelling floor or disgusting common couch.

 As far as the Fuji update, all your comments are helping. I think I:ve almost convinced reginia to climb it with me. Since I hear i:m getting 2-1 odds put me down for 1000 fazuls to climb the mountain. I:d bet cash but this trip is costing me all my cash so i:m gonna have to bet in WIP currency

So I bet you:re all wondering about tokyo…well its not nearly as crowded as we expected and virtually no one speaks english. We order our meals mostly through the language of pointing and luckily the Japanese have inifinite amounts of patience and are the nicest people I:ve ever met. You can also find beer in any vending machine on almost any corner, porn in any corner store and dayum this town loves to gamble. Even the arcades are 95% gambling games so they start off their kids off right.

Basically Tokyo didn:t need much of an invasion it was already a benny biggg:s mecca. And as far as the invasion is going people still bow to us wherever we go and we:ve enlisted the help of a few friends to spread news of the invasion (the pics should be posted today).

 And finally for the people that actually want to hear the nice things we:re are seeing, I:m posting some pictures of the places we:ve been. The gardens around tokyo are amazing and the imperial palace was definitely worth seeing. Reginia and I have also taken part in some Buddist prayer ceremonies. I:ve finally tried sushi and we got a 360 night-time view of Tokyo in the Mori tower that put all other city views i:ve seen to shame ..next up the electronic district, taking part in a tea ceremony and some R&R at the public bath houses

B

 warning drunk post ahead… 

More about our first couple of days in Japan later….I wanted to get some votes on a debate that is raging in the anex hostel right now….to climb mt fugi or not to climb fugi?? We just spent the last 3 hours in a bar listening to 2 people with completely differnet opinions on the matter. In one corner we got a spanish guy saying it was his favorite part of the trip and in the other corner we got a group of irish/english guys that went today that said it was by far thew worst day of their lives because they got pneumonia and it was 12 hours and the wind almost blew them off the cliff and blah blah blah. Apparently we are in the last week of rainy season and the typhones are starting up. They complained it was 11 hours in the freezing rain and they couldn:t see anything because of the clouds.

Maybe it:s all the sokee in me tight now but I still want to climb it so send your comments to convince Regina to go up there with me or send your comments to mee saying i:m a retard and shouldn:t climb the mountain even though they are predicting rain for the next 5 days with 100% certainty.

 ….And just in case you:re wondering the Japanese are accepting the invasion better than expected, they bow to benny bigggs everywhere we go woo woo

I just wanted to check in for a second and let everyone know we landed safely in Tokyo. The flight was loooong (13 hours) and the movie choices sucked. The only movie I watched was Take the Lead that starred antonio banderas teaching misfit 10 kids from the ghetto how to ballroom dance while they were in detention…the script wrote itself.

 Anyway we haven:t seen much of Tokyo yet but the hostel and an area called Asakusa which is where our hostel resides in. We have to take our shoes off before we enter the hostel so the front smells like feet which is perfect cause the bathroom smells like ass. We have bunkbeds (benny bigggs is always on top) and our room is about the size of a closet. All in all I missed hostel living

 Today the invasion offically begins our sites set on Tokyo. It:s suppose to rain everyday we are here but even the elements won:t stop the invasion although it will make climbing mt fugi interesting. I:ll report all on tokyo soon and leave some love

BB

It’s 12:30am before the invasion and Benny Bigggs has just started packing. I’ve got to remember to pack the 1000 big wheel biker gang cards Johnny printed up for me and of course my lucky sponge bob boxers

Starting July 15th…